Eugene Mirman offered these 5 tips for life during a speech at his former high school’s (Lexington High School) graduation in 2009.

1. Don’t forget to follow your dreams — unless your dreams are stupid — like eating all the cake in Arlington.
2. Be kind to people.
3. Don’t get too excited when you read the Fountainhead.
4. In this time of recession, it is the time for invention. Did you know both the telephone and the automobile were invented during recessions? So was “talking dirty.”
5. Things can kill you. So just keep that in mind, you fearless-know-it-alls.