“Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.”

“I never saw a lawyer yet who would admit he was making money.”

“I have never been hurt by what I have not said.”

“A jury is composed of twelve men of average ignorance.”

“A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in.”

“If you don’t think every day is a good day, just try missing one.”

“To know one’s self is wisdom, but not to know one’s neighbors is genius.”

“The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me.”

“Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn’t teach me everything he knows.”

“When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she’d just make enough for 16 and only serve half.”